Dealing with Disappointment in Malaysia yet the Beauty of Drama in ESL

So today was not the best day of my experience since being in Malaysia. I received some unfortunate news that was out of my control, unfair in my opinion, but could do nothing to change the results. The drama club I have been pouring my heart and energy into for over 5 hours a week (plus 3 hours of driving a week) was no longer going to be a part of my weekly schedule. The mentor at my friend’s school (which I was volunteering my time to help out with, yet pretty much lead the program) decided he wanted me out. Competition is in just over three weeks. We were planning to finish blocking the show today (meaning explain where the students will go and basic delivery of lines), yet the mentor wants to write a new script tonight and start over since “we do not have enough time” for the script I have been using with them. This makes absolutely no sense to me and I feel completely disrespected as well as disappointed with how this was dealt with behind my back and relayed to me through my poor friend put in a very uncomfortable position this afternoon.

Flash back to our rehearsal yesterday, things were going fine (in my opinion). Four administrators from the district, invited by this mentor were there to watch. I was the only ETA present and working on the rehearsal at the time. I was planning to cut out some lines since there were multiple complaints that the script was too long (which I cut out about two pages) and spent 20 minutes updating students with the new script. I warmed up the students using words that they were struggling to pronounce as well as have them practice projecting their voices which this mentor complained I was not doing enough of during rehearsals as well as expressed his extreme worry about the students’ progress in those areas. Then I proceeded to review blocking for the last five pages we learned last rehearsal to show our visitors our progress as well as teach six new pages of blocking with the goal to get through the last nine the next day, difficult but totally doable. Unfortunately, 15 minutes of rehearsal was me trying to explain my script, reasoning behind practice, and ideology behind preparation for the competition (mainly them expressing their complaints and worries over and over again without truly listening to my words) which wasted time. Ironically, time being the main factor of concern, time during rehearsal was taken to express this. Additionally, the administrators were talking loudly during the majority of the rehearsal which made it hard to be productive but nonetheless, “the show must go on” and so we did. I left the conversation early in hopes to return to rehearsal and be more productive with the students, which I was for the last ten minutes. At the end of rehearsal, I checked back in with the mentor to make sure concerns were covered or answered and that sentiments still remained positive towards the drama process. He expressed that everything was fine. He thanked me for all of my hard work and dedication, seeming to be sincere and looking forward to the next day. We discussed the positive progress that happened as well as my motivational speech I gave to the students about practicing their lines every night and getting ready for the upcoming competition, in which he seemed responsive in more positive ways than I had seen in the past two weeks. I left for the night, both of us with the expectation of me returning tomorrow (today, Monday April 20th) for another day of rehearsal. Or so I thought.

I cannot say what his exact intentions were however, the events that unfolded today, makes it seem as though there was an underlying agenda or change of thought (either way in which I was not regarded) to take a different path. I was put in charge of this program solely with the verbal expectations that this mentor, my friend (his ETA), and my other ETA friend (his housemate) would assist me during this process. I asked and reconfirmed with the mentor what he wanted to be in charge of which was nothing and his role in this process which was to just assist when needed. Each time we discussed this, he confirmed that he wanted me to be in charge of everything. I took his concerns into consideration. I took his advice although he and I both knew his knowledge of drama was minimal compared to mine, but nonetheless I wanted to respect him and his concerns and still have room for learning myself, especially in a foreign competition. I tried to be as accommodating for him in this experience as best I could. Yet, when the panic set in for him and something switched today, my time, effort, expertise, opinion, nor consideration came into play. Nor did the betterment of the students, in my opinion.

I am personally frustrated about this situation however I am more hurting for the students. They have put in a lot of hard work over the past month and now it is all being wiped away. I am not really sure what my next appropriate step should or will be at this point. I am meeting with the mentor and said ETAs next Sunday. I want to support these students. I want to express my feelings about how things were handled. Yet, it is not my school, these are not my students, I was volunteering my time, there was no contract, just verbal agreement for the terms, and I am busy as it is with my other commitments. This was just one of those extraordinary disappointments that are harder to bounce back from than a hot and rainy day.

There have been challenging times during this experience in Malaysia. I have tried to gain perspective and look at the positives through every negative situation. From flat tires to flus to classes or after-school activities being cancelled. This was a push just a bit too far from what I am able to just “bounce back from” without standing up for these students and what I think is right. From a human standpoint, I was disregarded as a dedicated person, pushed out for no fault of my own, and deceived during this process. I hurt for the students. I am disappointed in the leadership. I am not sure how much of this is a cultural miscommunication, misunderstanding, barrier, or otherwise versus a pure act of authority being exercised for reasons unknown to me. The pictures throughout this post are great moments I shared with these students.

There English was progressing. They were quick learning. They were new to drama yet their confidence was rising. The students were so eager to work hard and do well! We were so far into the script and they were just getting comfortable with the ideas and the story. We shared passionate, powerful emotions together through various moments from the warm-up to the reflection talk at the end of rehearsals. My design team was even coming together with ideas.

I am supposed to sit back, allow this to happen, and resume after May with this drama. Our work is basically being excused, for a new play written over night, and supposedly put together in four rehearsals. It is assumed I am supposed to hear about the students cramming this play in, support them, and return to mine for the leftovers of drama after competition is over. I am not upset about not going to competition with “my” work as the “director” but I believed in the play and in the students. We were making something powerful together about secondary students’ identity issues with real problems teens face today all around the world.

We were taking the inner-thoughts of teenagers and personifying them through “selfie” characters who mirrored the named characters throughout the show both showing the projected, vulnerable, and facade images of these caricatures of secondary students wanting what every teen at that age does: to be accepted and feel good about themselves. All in a second language for these students in less than two months- it was incredible! We presented these issues but also turned them on their head and made the audience question the real issues at hand: how serious some of these problems are for teens, as well as how to conquer them. It also addressed the universal idea of these issues across cultures (being that there were references both to America and Malaysia). Their collective deepest fear is suggested by Nicole in a moment of defending the “new and improved” her that her friend Sam is warning her is not the true Nicole that made her so wonderful originally. “But [people are] noticing. Besides, when it comes right down to it, don’t we all end up alone?” Then she grows into realizing the importance of making a positive and true image of yourself as well as embracing who you really are despite your bruises and blemishes “I can’t take back the things I’ve done, but I can change the things I’m going to do. Or at least I can try.” As one of the other characters is suffering from battling cancer this quote is shared “The last selfie [Tony] took was beautiful. [His] eyes winkled. The corners of [his] mouth were turned up. [He] was alive. And best of all, [he] wasn’t alone.” These friends journey together to find out what is really important in life, for themselves, and how to fit into their true skin. “It’s better to be yourself to risk being alone and find those who can truly like you. Live in the moment and keep the pictures for your memory.” This is such an important message we were ready to share at the state level of competition. I hope this message can be heard again through our play #Selfie in another way. Even if it just reached the students and stays there- it still was heard.

Sports Day and School Culture in Malaysia

    Things that happened today at my school that would not happen in America:

1. Students just leaving during the day since there were no classes in order to decorate and prepare tents for a sports day to follow the next two days.

2. Students running errands for teachers on their motorcycles, expected to come back and actually come back with the task completed.

3. Multiple students leaving on the same motorcycle sent to cut down bamboo in the neighborhood down the road. Then students leaving with teachers without notice to fetch said students who went to get the bamboo (the students were already back by the time we tried to find them)

4. Students using machetes… multiple… all day

5. Students using multiple tools and weapons on school grounds

6. Students drinking rose sugar-water including a gallon of water, 10 pounds of sugar, and half a bottle of syrup water (these type of drinks do not exist or would probably not be permitted anymore after all of the health conscious kicks in school cafeteria food- thank you Michelle Obama and many others who fought for the cause of healthy habits in schools!)

7. Students marching or running around campus instead of going to school that day

8. Teachers neglecting class all day to prepare for sports day

9. Students taking off their uniform (still layers underneath but uniform is usually mandatory and they are corrected down to the type of socks they wear) because of being a little sweaty

10. Students and teachers using a day for competitive crafting during a school day rather than a weekend day with no prior note sent home to parents, permission slips signed, parent volunteers, items brought from home, or any similar tasks exercised

Reasons why all of this is AWESOME!

1. Malaysians treasure family time and would rather use their school day to prepare for fun sporting or competitive school events such as “sports day” rather than after school or on a weekend

2. Malaysians trust their students to complete some of these tasks

3. Malaysian students love competition so much that they are willing to stay and decorate their tent even when they have the freedom to go (mind you an hour before school let out, a large chunk of students left BUT still impressive they lasted that long)

4. Malaysian schools schedule fun things during the school day to change things up

5. Malaysian schools are taking pride in competitive exercise events (which is great especially in the state where I live, even if it is just 2 days since they have the highest diabetes rate in Malaysia)

6. Malaysian students practiced a lot of English with me today

7. I was feeling tired and needed a brain break (perfect timing to craft and build things all day)

8. I bonded with more students always a yay!

9. Competitive spirit is a great way to incentivize students as I knew but saw as further evidence today

10. Students were super helpful, teachers were just as involved (most of the time), and it was a fun day!

What proceeded to follow are two days of sports (different running activities), competitive spirit, team building, camaraderie, student recognition, and fun! I even managed to get a run it- ran an extra lap and still got first place in the girls category I ran with… should I be impressed or scared, not sure. I was definitely tired afterwards. Malaysia boleh! I approve of sports day and all of its festivities!

Code-switching from Bahasa Malay to Kelate and Vice-versa

So I live in Kelantan which is a fairly rural state in Malaysia close to the Thailand border and fairly undeveloped in relation to the other Malaysian states. As a result of some of these cultural factors, Kelantan has its own dialect, Kelate as I have mentioned in previous posts before. When I first arrived to Malaysia, I did not know where I was placed and as a program, we were taking Bahasa Malay classes (the standard language) during orientation as a way to get acquainted with some of the linguistic basics of Malaysia. However, once finding out about my placement in Kelantan, I found out that these lessons would not be of much use since the dialect in Kelantan is much different from the standard dialect. Sure most people would understand the standard language but, I would not understand or know how to communicate with the local dialect so I realized I had to change my linguistic focus.

Dialect is used as a loose term here, in my opinion. To me I think different accent with slightly different vernacular maybe as I think of dialect differences in the US. Here however, the Kelate dialect has different spellings, pronunciation, and different words all-together for certain phrases in many parts of the language, especially in every day conversation, which almost makes it feel as if it is a totally separate language all-together. This makes getting around in Kelantan as well as teaching English to the local students very challenging as I am trying to re-learn the basics of the language from an unconventional way of hearsay from students or teachers and trying to scratch down things when I can. In school many of my students are not literate or proficient even in the standard Bahasa Malay (BM) so Kelate is the primary language classes are taught in at my school. I try to learn the language to both help myself get around town to those who do not speak English and understand my students better. I want to work with some of my lower performing students as well, so they get exposure to English and American culture even when they barely know how to properly spell their name or introduce themselves as of now. Although I hope some of my initiatives and roles in the school are changing those things.

For travelling elsewhere in Malaysia though, I have to switch back to the basics of BM that I remember from orientation and minimally practicing since leaving KL from orientation. I have visited several places in Terangganu (which has its own dialect), Penang, Kedah, and so forth yet, find myself falling into the Kelate dialect which very few people understand outside of Kelantan. This experience of switching linguistic dialects within the same language is a challenging yet intriguing experience as I try to further blend myself into the culture and environment around me in Malaysia, being a Bahasa Melay as a Second Language (BMSL) foreigner (not sure if that is a thing but I find it an appropriate label for where I stand linguistically here). I am fascinated by languages and cultures in general so I try to pick up phrases and local sayings as I go, where I go.

In Myanmar when I travelled over this past holiday, I picked up how to say hello (as a foreigner specifically, Mingalarbar) and thank you (che zu tin bah deh or che zu bah for short). A nice man gave me a 10 minute overview lesson of the language on the plane over there, in which I picked up tricks and methods of the language quickly and was excited to learn about. When I have traveled previously to Europe or Central America I picked up phrases from locals and practiced them down to the exact accent, intonation, presentation, and sometimes mannerisms if I could, without being offensive. It is a fun challenge for me as well as a curiosity I have of stepping into the lives of another person in some sort of way, even if momentarily. The theatre side of me coming out once again.

My linguistic-side of my brain has never had to work this hard before, especially in figuring out how well my audience that I am conversing with, knows English, what accent I take on, how much body language I should use, and what broken foreign language I should try to speak with them. On my way home from an English camp today, one of my housemates and I casually stopped into a Buddhist temple in Bachok, Kelantan to see a famous statue we had yet to visit. We met a very nice man who gave us a tour and showed us this medicine sauna where we took a nice afternoon break in to cleanse ourselves for RM 8 for about 30 minutes of steam time. When leaving the temple grounds, a women with very little acknowledgement of English, who was either Chinese or Thai, was trying to send us off with kind gestures as she assumed we did not know the language she spoke or much of the local language (if they were not the same thing). I tried to fish for the right words to return to her assumed “goodbye” head nod as she paused from washing a dish in the sink and faced our way. I thought back to when a student was spewing Thai words at me one day, but I could not remember them for the life of me. I knew how to say thank you in Chinese (both Mandarin and Cantonese) but did not want to assume either so I stuck with my gut and said thank you in BM to play it safe (still being in Malaysia). Talk about a brain buster! She returned with the appropriate “sama-sama” meaning the equivalent to you’re welcome in BM and we parted our ways.

This experience has occurred several times as I am encountering various types of people as well as becoming more aware of the diversity of Malaysia, how to identify ethnicities versus races of people where I go in South East Asia, and try to be as culturally sensitive as a foreigner possibly can. I stick out like a sore thumb typically when I travel through Asia, which can be an advantage since trying at all can look like a huge compliment and gesture of gratitude in this part of the world, as I have experienced. However, I also feel more pressured in some ways to prove myself as a “local tourist” someone who is more stationary than a backpacker passing through (which is nothing to be scoffed at either). My identity culturally, linguistically, and otherwise has been flipped upside down, turned inside out, challenged, confirmed, questioned, and everything in between. Another part of this priceless experience I hope to always hold onto and cherish after it is all over.

Langkawi Island on the West Coast with my SMKS students

                       

I took off for the Western Malaysian island for the week on Tuesday April 7th at 9:30 pm with students and teachers from my school SMK Selising on a bus not sure what to expect. An overnight bus when I am sleep-deprived with excited students from my school. Not sure what I was getting myself into but was excited for the opportunity to go. I have heard the most wonderful things about this island, claiming to be better than Perhenthian Islands even, with more of a tourist attraction. A lot of anticipation on my part after hearing that there are beaches and lots of chocolate- you have me sold. I have no idea what is even on the agenda except for something “educational” and shopping! Okay-lah, jom!

We piled onto a bus after 9pm leaving for the West coast. Students were dropped off in various means. One of my housemates drove me to school and wished me luck for the unknown week that was about to unfold before me in the form of a Malaysian school field trip. The week was full of surprises and other semi-expected events. There was in fact a lot of shopping as was I forewarned would happen by fellow teachers and other Malaysians in my community. We went to over 8 different shopping venues and one time left the students in the hotel while us teachers shopped for dishware for over four hours. A very different-style vacation from my tastes but Malaysia boleh (can) as we say in Malaysia. Interspersed with shopping were also fun excursions including riding the steepest cable car in the world (as it claimed), taking many selfies of course (both with students and teachers), taking a boat tour of a geo-forest park to see wildlife (eagles feeding on fish naturally and some unnatural animal farms including sting rays, crocodiles, and various fish), Langkawi museum, and visiting Eagle Point where there is a famous giant eagle statue. It was a very pleasant trip although difficult to figure out my role, place, and how to behave as my lifestyle and culture is very different from my school community’s.

I found a way to blend in yet still stood out as the foreigner the entire trip. I was an advocate for my students and fought to focus the trip on things they might want to do since this was a unique opportunity for them to travel which many of them do not have the usual chance to do. A night where there was nothing planned after 7pm my students were complaining that they came all this way and are staying in a hotel for most of the trip so, I asked if I and another teacher could take them to the night market. We set parameters and rules which the students completely followed and were grateful for the adventure. Overall a huge success on the trip. It was also a way to show my students my care for them as this was still fairly early on in the year and one of the first intimate experiences outside of the classroom they had experienced with/ of me. I also was not wearing the typical baju kurung as they usually saw me in everyday (although still had to be Kelantan-level conservative appropriately dressed but good change of pace for them I think.)

 

It was a great way to see more of the cadence of a Muslim Malaysian lifestyle. The impact of call to prayer and stopping five times a day at a surau (place for prayer) even when taking an overnight bus. In addition to doing active things more so than I expected. Witnessing the expectations of students having to be up early for prayer and such but also wearing school uniform, which is a part of public education in Malaysia, when they are travelling place-to-place. Overall, it was a great experience which brought me closer to my school and community.

 

YES Camp in Setiu, Terangganu for Building Confidence in Cartoon World

 

This past weekend in April, I was lucky enough to participate in the first 2015 YES camp in Setiu, Terangganu. One of my housemates and I were the two representing ETAs working with YES exchange alumni to build confidence in students from 13 schools in the Setiu district. The students were so eager and bright. They were a joy to work with and the camp was full of silly, educational fun which is always my favorite. From obstacle courses throwing flour on each other to painting abstract art to music to writing love letters, it was a quick and rich bonding experience between us all. It was a neat experience to meet with local university students who were alumni of the YES exchange program travelling on scholarship to America and now able to share their unique stories and swap ideas about American culture with us during the down times of camp. We talked about high school life, highlighting the major event of a high school student living in America: prom from their perspective as Malaysians who do not have school dances as a part of their secondary schooling experience. We also talked about their different placements, food they ate, things they miss, and how their lives have been as they adjust back to the Malay style of things.

Not only was it awesome to meet the YES alumni and other fellow young adults from different parts of Malaysia but, we worked with some super smart kids who were excited and motivated to learn English from various schools throughout the state of Terangganu. These students were primarily science-track students (meaning top in their class) so we got to engage in deeper conversations with more complex levels of English than we were used to or usually able to do with our home students. The weekend was filled with fun, scavenger hunts, bonding, and creative activities. The goal was to let these kids experiment with using English in various ways, meet other like-minded students, see other young people from Malaysia as well as elsewhere using English in their professional lives successfully, and learn about future opportunities available to them after they finish secondary school. We wanted students to test their comfort level of English, culture, and life perspectives.

It was interesting to plan a camp with other Malaysians around our age. Typically when us ETAs plan our camps as part of our Fulbright ETA program, it is by ourselves or with other ETAs with the potentially help from our English teachers. Most of the planning comes from us and our Western way of thinking. This was a different experience. Most of the camp was simply outlined when we arrived so both nights of the three-day camp experience us leaders stayed up until 2am or so planning as well as prepping for the camp activities and programming to happen the following day. This was an unexpected piece of the weekend however, collaborating with these other young people helped us bond and was a great people-skill learning experience. We all had very different ways of thinking as well as backgrounds but were flexible enough to find compromises between all of us. My ETA friend and I has teaching experience, east coast Malaysian education experience, and were native English speakers. Some of them had traveled to America and used English extensively, others brought various professional and academic aspects of Malaysia to the table. It was a well-rounded group to bounce many ideas off of (hence why we stayed up so long but had a very successful camp!)

The programming started with us coming the night before for a meet-and-greet dinner then mini-tour of the campus before students were to arrive the following morning. We started discussing the goals and activities for the following day then took over this room to spread out and map out the supplies for each part of the day. We each had a session to lead or co-lead as well as a scavenger hunt station to logistically figure out. We went to bed and woke up the next morning exhausted but ready for the hundreds of students to pour into SMK Pelong, Setiu, Terangganu, Malaysia! We played ice breakers to get the kids ready to go, which did not take much since they were so eager to have an experience like this. Then we got down to business! The student helper staff was amazing! They helped us set up and take down everything, MVPS for the weekend!

The theme also explored identity as a Malaysian to build confidence, understand how they can use English in their lives now and in the future. Students by the end of the weekend were writing love notes and trading contact information to stay in touch. Not only that but of course a million selfies also ensued before we all parted our ways. Many fun games were played, many laughs were shared, talents displayed, notes given, a scavenger conquered, friendships started, stories swapped, memories made and much more. These pictures give a small snapshot of this incredible weekend, giving yet another dimension of life and education in Malaysia.