Closing Time, Reflecting Upon the Year

A kampong backroad with beautiful greens. How I will best remember Malaysia- many hues of green!

TB to Langkawi SMKS field trip

 

This was a difficult year. I have to acknowledge that. Sometimes I forget that things are hard because I am trying to make things a reality. I tried to excuse behaviors, cultural differences, difficult social situations, uncomfortable times, and bad days for “it’s all a part of the experience.” Sometimes I need to stop, sit, and say “yeah, today was tough and it is okay.” That being said, it has been the most incredible year of my life.

TB to meeting my students for their school trip at Pulau Perhenthian. One of my favorite places in the world- most beautiful place I have seen and made many sweet memories there!

This year has challenged me more than I could have ever anticipated. I learned more about myself than I thought I could. Being a theatre person, you are supposed to know yourself well from the little to the big things. I saw more this year (than I even wanted to) of myself and learned what that meant. I grew as a person. I grew as a cultural member. I grew in my language skills. I grew in my interpersonal and intrapersonal skills. I fit into a new cohort of diverse Americans. I found a place for myself in a place and community very different from me. I fell in love with my school community, fellow staff, and students. It will be hard to leave.

TB to a montage a student made for me from my first English Beach Clean Up camp!

As many songs fly through my head while I try to capture my sentiments at the end of the year, I mostly hear and keep revisiting “Closing Time” by Semisonic. The lyrics are the most appropriate for how I feel and how I am coping with leaving this beautiful state and country. Truly words cannot fully capture my experience and time here but it is the closest I feel I will get for now. I know I will come back to visit someday but not knowing when, makes it hard to tell these teary-eyed faces that I will see them again someday. The line “time to go out from the places you will be from” is how I justify my leaving. Yes, it it time for me to go home. I miss my family, friends, and community. I am ready to see them even if I am not quite ready to say goodbye here. I am tired of the bugs, heat, and lack of freedom in my community here even though my school is like a family to me where I can be myself 100% with silliness or seriousness and they accept me. I found a job I love where I do not quite have the full responsibilities of a teacher but I am teaching and having fun with students!

TB to my Female Empowerment Camp with the help of Miss Rachel. Some Form 4 and 5 girls sporting their confidence poster of future goals 🙂

“I know who I want to take me home” my parents and my puppies at home. I want to embrace them, even if for a moment. They are so important to me and this was the longest and farthest I have been away from them. There is still a lot of time in life and there will be a time I can travel and return to Narnia (aka Malaysia) some day but it is not next month or possibly even next year. It is time and I want to return home even if just for a short while.

TB to the Kelantan Vocational Arts Camp 2015 with my SMKS boys at the Royal family dinner!

TB to one of the interviews I did on the radio talking about the arts camp 🙂

“Turn all of the lights on every boy and every girl… last call” in a metaphorical way. I am spending my last moments celebrating with my students and loving on each and every one of them as much as I can. I have one last camp I got an US Embassy Grant for to celebrate them and build up their school English library. I am entering as many classes as possible. I am trying to visit with families or students I have grown close to as much as possible. And soaking up all of the love they are giving me in return. “Last call” for selfies, “sweet memories”, and so on here. This is not over or the final end but the end of a chapter for now. I am trying to not say “goodbye” but “see you later” in reality, that I truly believe I will be back someday. Possibly sooner than I realize…

TB to one of my favorite units with Form 1: Going Places. Today we did stations and traveled to California, USA

Form 1 sporting their “passports” after a long week “journey” to the USA!

“You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here” is where I am now. Okay yes, technically, I have to go back to the states as per my contract before whatever my next adventure and career move is, knowing it could be abroad again or close to home. I am at a pass where I want to be, what I want to be, or what I want to do next year but I know I cannot stay here in Malaysia. This year has been a great experience but I realized it needed to stay isolated as a year and I need to move onto something else, whatever that may be. Stopping at home will be nice to refresh, recharge my batteries, and then make a clear decision about my next moves.

Form 2 deciding how they would feel with certain diabilities

Form 2 final posters for our unit on people with disabilities. Trying to imagine and sympathize. Powerful and emotional day in class

“This room won’t be open til your brothers and sisters come.” This line could be literal that I need to bring my family here the next time I come or that I will revisit with a new grown relationship with these community members that I stay in touch with while I am gone until I return. There are many people I will stay in touch with here in Malaysia. I let students add my personal Facebook account as well as teachers. I also will try to maintain WeChat and possibly download WhatsApp again to keep in touch with students. I was a student teacher last year so technically they were my first students but this was my first group of full-year students (pretty much). On top of the crazy experience of a year they watched me grow through alongside of them this year.

Captured moment of me teaching the entire school the Cha Cha slide in groups to nominate students for my Talent Show “Selising Idol” camp 🙂

“So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits. I hope you have found a friend.” Time to pack up my things and fly to the exit. I did make some friends and I will remember this place but it is closing time for me, so I got to go. “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” here in Malaysia. It is time for a new start in my life, something new, not knowing what yet. This ending starts a new beginning of something. I look forward to finding out what that is.

Some upper form boys teaching me the traditional performative art of Dikir Barat. A popular art form in the state of Kelantan where I have lived this year.

This has been a special year and trying to replicate it or add on did not seem right. It is now a foundational part of my philosophy as a teacher and citizen of the world. I will use this year to remember many things I am passionate about and want to fight for in society on small and large scales. Most of my ideologies were reaffirmed. Some grew, some changed. I am ready to jump into a new adventure while also learning this year what I need in my life to make me happy and comfortable. Closing time in Malaysia. On my Malay way… tomorrow, a new adventure begins.

Form 4 boys trying to be cool for a camera as we are in between takes of our film for the Sarawak Culture Exchange project we did with SMK Seburian

Bus moment from my last English camp buying books for the school library 🙂

TB to YES camp in Setiu, Terangganu making some friends my age 🙂

TB to teaching drama in my happy place, in my element at SMK Sri Nepah!

TB to first picture of my mentor and I when we first met!

TB to one of the first chorale speaking after school days this year 🙂

TB to a typical day in the office with some of my favorite people 🙂

Lyrics to Closing Time

Closing time

Open all the doors and let you out into the world

Closing time

Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl

Closing time

One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer

Closing time

You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here

[Chorus:]

I know who I want to take me home

I know who I want to take me home

I know who I want to take me home

Take me home

Closing time

Time for you to go out to the places you will be from

Closing time

This room won’t be open till your brothers or your sisters come

So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits

I hope you have found a friend

Closing time

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end

[Chorus:]

I know who I want to take me home

I know who I want to take me home

I know who I want to take me home

Take me home

Closing time

Time for you to go out to the places you will be from

[Chorus:]

I know who I want to take me home

I know who I want to take me home

I know who I want to take me home

Take me home

Closing time

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end

Music Video of Closing Time

Kelantan Vocational Arts English Camp (KVAEC) 2015: The first of its kind and a new beginning

Yesterday we wrapped up a very successful and incredible two-day Arts English camp as part of a statewide cohort collaboration along with eight primary partners who helped make this possible: MAJLIS AGAMA ISLAM ADAT ISTIADAT NEGERI KELANTAN (MAIK), UNIVERSITI MALAYSIA KELANTAN (UMK), JABATAN PENDIDIKAN NEGERI KELANTAN (JPN), MALAYSIAN AMERICAN COMMISSION ON EDUCATIONAL EXCHANGE (MACEE), YAYASAN ISLAM KELANTAN (YIK), LIMKOKWING ACADEMY, TAYLOR’S UNIVERSITY, and MAJLIS KEBUDAYAAN NEGERI KELANTAN (Culture Centre). With more than 120 students from the state of Kelantan, 12 different art forms, several distinguished guest visitors including members of the Royal Kelantan Family, and 3 different news stations covering this event, it truly was an arts extravaganza extraordinaire!

The planning for this camp started months ago when we were approached by a leading foreign employee of MAIK for this idea. We had just finished our first big collaborative event with them and he wanted to start-up another one this time instead of American culture focus, make it Kelantan rooted-arts focused. It started as a small-scale idea to display artwork made by our students throughout the year featuring various Kelantanese arts from our state where we are placed. But through various connections made and much planning that arose in the months along the way, it turned into the mega arts camp that we carried out through this weekend. Our partners grew, our budget, grew, our VIP guests grew, yet the dedication remained constant throughout the planning process. Everyone involved was passionate and eager to see this event through the last bow and selfie taken on the UMK Bachok stage where we held this major camp event.

One feature that made this camp special was the fact that we had our “glue” Dr. Simon Cooke from MAIK making major connections for us as a collaborator along with many other talented as well as smart, hard-working people, and we wanted the focus to be in arts rather than English. Through our limited experiences as ETAs in Kelantan, we saw our top students month by month and event by event be praised for their academic results or competition awards they won. Yet the same students from each school tended to be praised for similar reasons, leaving a majority of the students lacking with positive reinforcement, praise for their efforts, special camp opportunities, or recognition otherwise. The lower performing students were often the focus to improve as per usual with an uniformed schooling systems, similar to struggles in American education. The top students were continually praised with treats, prizes, and special trips. Our middle-ground students were left behind, and checking out of school mentally and even physically. We could change the system but could we change the methods, we thought? Is there a way to praise the middle-performers who have an interest in art and often go unrecognized yet have so much potential to do so and improve? This camp was our first step towards seeing if we can change this mentality and system-building we saw in our schools specifically and in other instances we saw throughout the Malaysian education system.

We chose students who were not necessarily the highest performing students but showed us potential through various ways throughout the school year. We noticed specifically their interests related to vocational arts whether it be singing, drawing, or otherwise that we saw they took interest in or even had a talent for yet no space to show in school. Since this was a Kelantan arts focused camp, we also looked into partnering with our art teachers and other local experts who knew the arts well to seek out these students and appropriate art workshops for them that students could learn, participate in, and have something to perform for our showcase we planned to have on the second day of camp. This resulted in 12 different types of art we were able to provide for these students to try out in a 2 hr or so workshop, then rehearse and put final touches on for a comprehensive showcase on the second day of camp, closing out the programming for our mega arts camp event.

The arts featured included Modern and Traditional Wayang Kulit (a storytelling art form using puppets to re-tell local stories and tradition that is nearly outlawed in all of Malaysia but updated and re-purposed to remain alive in Kelantan), Wau (a traditional kite-making technique to produce beautiful intricately designed handmade kites for flying pleasure or competition), Gubahan (a traditional Malaysian style handicraft of floral arrangement used typically for wedding ceremonies), Dikir Barat (a traditional Kelantan art form using various instruments as the backdrop to the recitation and singing of chants in Bahasa Melayu and local dialect with groups accompanying in a seated position using synchronized hand motions and assisting in the chants), Silat (a traditional performative-style Malay martial art form), Mak Yong or Joget (traditional Kelate dances used for ceremonies and special events including holidays), Eco-fashion (a fashion technique using traditional Malay styles such as Baju Melayu and Baju Kurung with recyclable materials to design and display in a catwalk presentation), Batik Tye and Dye (a traditional method for designing and coloring clothing used throughout Malaysia and using local Kelantan resources for this specific style of Batik), Syair (traditional poetry recited in multiple styles solo or in groups for an audience at special ceremonies and occasions), Animation (using basic technology that the university leading this session used often to comment on Kelantan culture and helped tutor the students in learning basic maneuvers with the software for the workshop purposes) and Cooking (demonstrated on the second day by Taylor’s University using local Kelantan ingredients to maintain the same Kelantanese focus and local tie into their demonstration).

Over the two days, students arrived by bus organized by the JPN and began with breakfast provided by MAIK. Then participated in a dance workshop, lead by a visiting previous ETA, Jolene Hernandez who introduced them to the world of jazz and hip-hop getting them warmed up for the mega camp ahead. Next, the students heard from each of the participating artists who would provide the primary workshop demonstrations for students to learn and interact with throughout the camp and finish something to present at the final showcase. After recording their top five preferences, us ETAs collaborated over lunch to decide how to divide the students into two different sessions for them to get as much variety as possible. Then the students wandered away into the different art sessions, some even by themselves representing their school in hopes to make new friends, throughout the large UMK Bachok campus with UMK and Limkokwing Academy students assisting in giving directions and making the art alongside our secondary students (great mentoring opportunity)! Once the two sessions finished we gathered for a celebrity gala planned by Prof. Rosdi from UMK who invited TT and Her Majesty (Third ruling Royal family member from the top in Kelantan and his wife the first daughter of the first Prime Minister of Malaysia), their daughter, the Vice Chancelor of UMK, and other distinguished guests from our various partnering organizations. The Royal family walked through the entire audience of students, teachers, and helpers alike greeting every individual during a multi-art performance over a catered dinner both planned by UMK artists and staff. Then a surprise Malaysian karaoke including a classic song sung by TT himself, breaking typical Malay Royal protocol to entertain the crowd and share his love of song, among me singing “Let it Go” from Frozen (my go-to performance song for this year), and ending the night with a final group number and official end offs before calling it a night.

The next day, students gathered for breakfast then a special talk and presentation from Nik Farhan also from UMK who introduced a video specially produced for this cohort of campers by none other than the famous New York bound Fashion designer who claims roots from Kuala Krai, Kelantan- Zang Toi himself. A professionally produced and quality short video narrating his childhood and growth into the famous, successful fashion designer he has become today. The students were impressed and enthralled with his words (all in English mind you) as well as seeing how he came from a background similar to theirs yet has become such a success today! Following that, Limkokwing Academy and Taylor’s University gave short talks about arts vocations in the professional world, university life, and options for these students interested in similar vocations.

Following that Taylor’s University who flew in all the way from Kuala Lampur, the other side of Malaysia brought their master chef, Khairul Anuar Muhamad to run a cooking demonstration for all 120 students making dry-ice ice cream with local Kelantan herbs and flavors for the students to see and try themselves. Along with the Chef, a staff member Nuqman Jauhari coordinated bringing two students that attended the University now as chefs-in-training who came from Kelantan (first Kelantan students in the culinary program in the history of Taylor’s University) that are MAIK scholarship students there funded by our main partner and a true testament of the possibilities for our students’ futures to come, to help with the ice cream-making. These two female university students now at Taylor’s were dropped off about six months ago, with very little vocabulary to converse in English and here they are finished with their third semester, officially in the culinary restaurants helping with the gourmet menus and using very “brilliant” English as Dr. Simon Cooke exclaimed. Finally, students put final touches on their visual and performative pieces then the showcase began.

I was the MC for the closing showcase, but still able to appreciate all of the magic that unfolded on that UMK Bachok campus stage. Students were a bit nervous and apprehensive as we could see yet, they still came to life, being applauded, and recognized in a new way, maybe even for the first time ever. Almost every student was significantly featured including a very shy student of mine who barely speaks or participates in school yet designed most of the puppets for the Modern Wayang Kulit workshop and narrated the story written by him and his friends from our school SMK Selising, Pasir Puteh, Kelantan for the performance. When I saw MJ from Limkokwing Academy who lead the session, hand him the microphone I nearly jumped on the stage to congratulate my student. Although instead, I excitedly poked my head out from the MC stand and whispered to my English cohort of teachers attending the showcase, “Syukur has the microphone! This is him talking!” They were thrilled beyond words to hear this news and were beaming as they recorded the whole performance. I was so proud and ecstatic to see the work that the students produced and the level to which they performed for this event. As our Kelantan JPN coordintor Che Najib said himself “There has never been an event like this… in all of Malaysia… I am very proud of the work you have accomplished… a job well done!” Many parties were very impressed with the turnout for this event. All of us collaborators and planners were both proud and beyond satisfied as well with how the weekend turned out. We hope this is a new model for a new way of teaching and opportunities that can be provided for the future generations of students in these districts, in all of Kelantan, all of Malaysia, and even worldwide. It is a weekend that will remain ingrained in our hearts and memories forever. We forged new relationships. We took roads never taken before and risks unthinkable as it seemed at the beginning of this planning process. We stuck to our mission and objectives then watched them be achieved before our eyes during the final showcase.

Coming to Malaysia, I had high hopes and big dreams to make a difference and leave a legacy here. I wanted to conduct some sort of arts and cultural exchange through the programming I was instructed to carry out. I hoped to foster relationships with students as well as my fellow cohort members, meet new faces, and learn new local traditional art forms to understand the true Malay way. I wanted to grow and change and see the fruits of something I worked on. This weekend was the epitome of that thought coming true in a reality I could see. I do not know what the students ultimately took away from this program. I do not know what they will do with the experiences they had, the art forms they were exposed to, the things they learned, or the “sweet memories” we shared. However, I do know I was proud of our event. I saw the students light up in various ways at various times throughout the camp. And whether we fully see it ourselves of not, I believe we did make a difference this weekend. I could not have envisioned, imagined, or dreamed of something like this happening this year, yet here we are. I am so blessed and forever indebted to all of those who helped make this camp become a reality and success! I hope to see and hear more things like this happening in the future of Malaysia and education beyond these borders.

Changing lives and creating artistic cultural exchange today, mystery lies ahead for tomorrow. Learning the Malay way.